The problem with the country farm animals
by BaronessvonTrapp
Summary: This is another one shot from Georg's journal. It is his thoughts on a day out with Maria on their honeymoon. Beware, it is pretty fluffy.


**A/N: Here is another one shot. This is part of an old draft of Maria's journal. I had a whole journal that takes place during the movie. However, I wanted to rework it. I'm having trouble getting started from the beginning. I'm posting some of my old chapters as one shots to get feed back and make sure I'm on the right track. All my one shots will all eventually be integrated into a long journal. You may have seen these before. I posted one of them in a journal. I wasn't happy with them so I deleted them and am starting from scratch. Wish me luck! ㈳2**

October 20, 1938

Today we decided for something different . We thought we would ride out and see the beautiful French countryside. I love Paris and Maria has decided she loves it too. However, we are both country people and we were beginning to miss the calm tranquility of the Austrian countryside.

Cities like Paris are exciting for a few weeks but our lungs were homesick for the mountain air. Even when I used to visit Elsa in Vienna I was never quite happy. I couldn't wait to get back to the calmness of Salzburg. Vienna is of course a great city to visit but not for everyday living.

Maria made a point that I also share. She constantly commented that the French countryside is breathtaking. It is absolutely is breathtakingly beautiful.

She always finished her declarations but saying, "I may be biased but it's not as beautiful as Austria." She further commented that maybe that was not a fair statement because other than this trip she has never left Austria.

I have been all over the world. I've even been to exotic places such as Australia and New Zealand. No matter where in the world I go I have never found a place as beautiful as our Austria.

I'll even take it further; I've never found a place as beautiful as Salzburg! The clean mountain air, the alter markt, the pristine landscape, and the calming waters of the Salzach gets in your blood and you are hooked. Even other Austrian cities cannot compare to Salzburg.

The most interesting part of the day in the country was the potential battle. Yes, I did say battle. We managed a battle in the quiet peaceful ountryside.

We were walking along hand in hand enjoying the beautiful country side in companionable silence. Suddenly out of the clear blue sky Maria became very excited and most enthusiastic. Oh yes, it is ever hard to picture Maria in that state.

Before I knew it she had dropped my hand and was running down the road. She finally stopped and I could her cry out, "Awww!"

I caught up to her and looked around but all I could see was a flock of sheep penned in by a rather old flimsy fence. It actually took me a minute to figure out the sheep were the object of her excitement.

Only that sweet thing could be that excited over a flock of sheep. Somehow, I cannot for the life of me picture Elsa dropping my hand, running off and being blissfully happy over stupid sheep. She may complain about the smell of the animals or the noise the animals made. I have to say those little buggers did make a lot of noise when they all "baahed" at once.

She began to carry on and I melted despite myself. "Oh Georg look! They are so cute and fluffy. I love sheep. We used to have sheep on the farm. The farm hands used to let me pet them. Once the shearer actually let me help him. Oh Georg look at those over there in the corner." she said pointing to some freshly sheared sheep.

"They're freshly sheared. They look almost well they sort of look well nude."

She even blushed at the statement. She is too cute not to tease. "MARIA AUGUSTA VON TRAPP!" I exclaimed. She looked at the ground and blushed.

Most people would just say, "Ok, they're cute. Come along Georg lets continue along on our walk."

However, not my little Dr. Doolittle. She had to communicate with the sheep. She bent over and started making kissing noises and talking in a childlike tone. Yes, Maria von Trapp wife of the esteemed Captain von Trapp was bent over trying to talk to sheep.

There was one problem the sheep were not happy about the human albeit adorable human mocking them on the other side of the fence. Now, most of us would walk away but Dr. Doolittle von Trapp was determined to make friends with the sheep.

The sheep had finally had enough and they began to charge her. I jumped out of the way and she ran down the road. Lucky for her sheep are so stupid they forgot about her the second she left their field of vision. Out of sight out of mind literally.

I caught up to her and had to laugh. Being a woman she had to of course remind me of a solemn promise I made to her on our wedding night.

Yes, Yes Yes, I promised to ALWAYS protect her and keep her safe and comfortable blah blah blah… She quoted my promise verbatim. Typical of a woman.

"You know I couldn't help but notice that you jumped out of the way when those sheep came running at me your poor innocent wife."

"Did I?" I said innocently

"YES! I'm reminded of a very deep and solemn promise you made to me on our weeding night. I believe you told me you would ALWAYS protect me?"

"And?"

"Well, jumping out of the way when your poor wife is being charged by a flock of sheep is quite contrary to always protecting her"

Oh, but I had a valid an irrefutable comeback for her the brazen thing. "Well, Baroness in black and white terms you are wrong about that."

"Well, III… but you…"

"Excusez moi. It is not polite to interrupt a man during a comeback to his wife." She said nothing but blushed and giggled.

" Anyway, I admit I did jump out of the way. However, before jumping out of the way I very quickly sized up the situation in my mind and discovered you had the upper hand and did not need my help. I used to constantly tell my men in battle not to rush in and react in the heat of the moment. It is important to step back and quickly analyze a scene. Sometimes blindly jumping in makes the situation worse and does more harm than good. So, to make a long story short in doing so I was in fact still protecting you. HAH!"

"Well yes but I mean… I…"

"Let's face it Maria as much as you love sheep they are not known for their intelligence. The minute you left their field of vision, they forgot about you. They simply returned to their lunches of grass and weeds. Out of sight out of mind literally."

She was trying so hard not to burst into hysterical giggles and give me the satisfaction that she was biting her lip. I keep looking at her until she cracked and became doubled over in sweet hysterical giggles.

Finally, she took a deep breath and calmly said, "Yes, well speaking of lunch, I'm getting hungry. Shall we continue with our walk?" she said with petite giggle sprinkled

"As you wish Baroness." I said as I took her little hand.

We left the sheep behind and continued on our walk. I felt a great desire to tease her once more.

"You know those sheep really offended me."

Maria looked at me if as if the country air was going to my brain and killing my brain cells. She simply stated at me me rather dazed and confused.

"I mean the least they could have done was sing for us. Why I would have settled for one yodel. I mean we are guests in this country."

I was of course referring the puppet show that she and the children put on what seems like ages ago. It was all about yodeling sheep or so I thought.

Maria brazenly corrected me. "First of all, our puppet show was about Goats NOT sheep. Second of all, you might have known that if you were paying the least bit of attention." She said with a cheeky smile

Boy did I have a comeback for her. Did she actually think I was paying attention and not having one hundred percent impure thoughts based on the sound of her voice?

"Well, as a matter of fact Baroness I WAS NOT paying the least bit of attention. That was the very first time I had ever heard you sing. I could hear you but I could not see you. Can you imagine what that left to my imagination, my MALE imagination. You'd be surprised at the impure thoughts a man can have when considering an adorable lead puppeteer.

"**GEORG**!" she said in shock.

Believe it or not, we had another farm animal incident at dinner. We went back to Paris and I decided to take her to one of the finest restaurants in Paris. It was such a joy to see her "all dressed up" as she put it She does look beautiful dressed in her finest.

At first I felt awful because the farm animal incident was due to a breakdown in communication. You see I happen to possess a very good command of the French language.

However, obviously I only speak it when I'm in France or in the company of French people. So, when one doesn't use a language on a regular basis one tends to forget less essential vocabulary. My lapse in vocabulary caused a nearly catastrophic event.

I helped her translate part of the menu. We both decided we were in the mood for fine steaks. Since our honeymoon was almost over and we were about to return home to deplorable circumstances, we decided to live dangerously.

I pointed her to the viande (meat) section. I tried to help her but he is such a proud little thing, she wanted to pick something herself. So, I backed off.

She was so cute when she tried to order in French. I heard her sweetly attempt her order and I heard her say the word "Cheval" At the time, no bells went off in my head.

Our meals were delivered and they were perfect. Maria and I both were enjoying the unparalleled cuisine this fine restaurant has to offer. Maria was especially enjoying her "Cheval."

She's not used such fine cuisine so I was enjoying it on her behalf. All was right with the world. We were enjoying the evening so much that we were almost able to forget the terror back home.

Well, that was about the change. The very kind Garcon came to check on us. He asked Maria, "Etes-Vous en tran de aimer Votre Cheval Baroness von Trapp?" "ah ah oui, Monsieur. Ah Merci Beacoup."

I think it is so funny how she answers "Yes" to any question in French. Even when she was no idea what the hell the other person is saying, she agrees. I pictured "are you an ax murderess Baroness von Trapp?' "Why yes I am. Thank you very much."

That is where the evening went downhill. All of a sudden bells went off in my head. I suddenly remembered my vocabulary. "**MY GOD! CHEVAL MEANS HORSE!" ** I thought to myself.

Now, that really might not sound like a big deal but for my little Dr. Doolittle this was damn near tragic. I wasn't planning on telling her but it slipped out instinctively. I suddenly blurted out, "**CHEVAL**!" Then I covered my mouth as if I had just uttered a foul curse word in her angelic presence.

Maria looked at me stunned. Well, just because I uttered the name of her meal in horror was no need for suspicion.

"What?" she had in utter bewilderment.

I hate to admit this but for once I was actually lost for words for the first time in my life. OH! She was becoming worried as she should.

"Georg?" she said with a light grin. "What am I eating, Arsenic or something?"

"Um, worse."

Now, she looked absolutely panic stricken. I took a deep breath before I delivered the final blow.

"My darling you are eating horse!"

I honestly think being told she was in fact eating arsenic would have been less upsetting to her then being told was eating a horse.

"**WHAT**?" She loudly shrieked

Unfortunately, her exclamation was rather loud. People dropped their forks, stopped eating, and turned to look. The ever so attentive Garcon came running.

"Qu' est ce cest Baroness von Trapp?"

"Ahh… Ahh…. Ahh…" was the only thing she could get out. I decided to get rid of him for her.

"Rien monsieur. Merci beacoup."

He left but eyed me very suspiciously. Just because my wife loudly cried out during her very fine meal is no reason about for suspicion.

First her little jaw dropped. Then, she put down her fork and just looked at her half eaten horse with such utter sadness. She could not even speak he was so heartbroken. I became extremely worried.

"Maria? Say something? Please!"

For a brief moment I thought she might cry on me. I COULD NOT have handled that! It is gut wrenching enough for me when SOMEONE ELSE hurts her or makes her cry. I wasn't sure what I would do if I, the one who loves her the most and promised to always protect her, made her cry. Thank God no tears fell from her sweet angelic eyes.

I apologized to her and explained to her that I forgot my vocabulary."Oh my sweet angel, I'm so painfully sorry. This is entirely my fault. You have to understand that as times goes by one tends to forget the less essential vocabulary. I'm afraid sweet thing that 'horse' is just not essential vocabulary. I truly didn't remember until it was too late you must know that I would never ever knowingly allow you to eat a horse without informing you my angel." I said begging her forgiveness.

She of course accepted my apology and knew that it was an innocent error on my part. "Oh I know it was an innocent mistake darling. I don't blame you. Of course I realize you wouldn't knowingly allow me to eat a horse." She said in a voice that was very shaky and sad with strong emotion.

I will only "admit" to this book that I too started to feel sorry for the poor half eaten horse. I've led men in battle, seen burnt and mangled cadavers, watched men die, and willfully risked my own life for the love of my country. Yet, there I was a man decorated for his bravery feeling sorry for the poor horse my Baroness just ate.

She started to tell me about the horses from her past. Oh, it was the saddest thing ever.

"Oh Georg we had horses on the farm. The farm hands used to let me help with their care. I used to give bring them treats like apples and sugar cubes. They used to let me name the new ones sometimes. I'll never forget this one horse. She was the pretties honey color. She was so affectionate and we bonded immediately. I decided to name her Honey Bear. Then there was another horse that loved everyone. I named her 2 hug."

I didn't know how much more I could take this was so sad. I decided to try and provide her some comfort. I hoped it would bring her back from the depths of despair.

"Well, I'm sure all your beautiful horses are in heaven, my sweet angel."

"Yes, but I may have eaten one of their descendants. Some poor beautiful horse was killed so I could enjoy my last meal in Paris."

Her last comment instantly filled me with an intense and warm happiness. I was happy that I such a sweet caring compassionate and yes simple wife.

She was unhappy about eating a horse! She was NOT unhappy about anything shallow or material. She was not unhappy because she couldn't find the perfect pair of insanely expensive earrings to match her insanely expensive evening gown. No, my sweet angel was heartbroken over a poor half eaten innocent horse.

Eventually I was able to comfort her and she felt better. Obviously, she didn't finish her horse. However, she did drink a cafe Au lait. She also had crème Brule which has become her favorite dessert along with café au lait as her favorite drink. Now, who else in the entire world could be cheered up by a silly cup of coffee and literally burnt cream. Oh, Elsa required so much more from me to bring her out of her stupid snits.

When we got back she said with an ever so slight smile, "I can't believe I actually ate a horse."

I couldn't resist this next line, "yes, and you were hungry."

It took her a minute but she was able to laugh. What happened next took both our minds off the horse incident if you know what I mean. I'll put it this way our full and uniquely eventful day ended on an amazing passionate and most glorious note indeed.


End file.
